lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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