When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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