I seem to have left my pride at pride
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize