I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
