I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
