Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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