Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
