ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
