To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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