New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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