Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
