Got a toothbrush?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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