i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
