I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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