try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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