i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
