I cockslap morals
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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