I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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