What did we do last night that was yellow?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
