I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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