I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
