Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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