shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
