I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
