And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
