I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
