i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
