From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
