just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bring money and cleavage
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
