i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
