So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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