I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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