It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
