I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
