Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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