There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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