I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
