Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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