The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
