I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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