when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
