im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
