He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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