I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize