glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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