Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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