the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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