His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
