Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize