maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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