I think I won the penis lottery.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How external is "for external use only"?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
