elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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