i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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