She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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