Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
