Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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