i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
