Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
third nipple confirmed
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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