She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
