I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
